Why Don't They Make 3rd Sequels in 3-D Anymore?

With the arrival of Spider-man 3 today, it's officially the Big Blockbuster Summer Movie Season. At some point this weekend, we're going to go see Spidey, probably on the IMAX screen.

After that, there are plenty more things to see all summer long. I know they're almost always bad, but I always get a wee bit excited about the summer movies. And hey, I'll take summer-movie-hype ads over election-season ads every time. So, what to see during the glorious sunny season? Here's my list:

Spider-man 3 - I don't expect it to reach the dizzying highs of the previous Spidey flicks, and it features one of my least favorite Spidey villains...but still, wild horses couldn't keep me away.
Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End - Pirates, monsters, swordfights, Keira Knightley, Chow Yun Fat, Keith Richards...sometimes they say "This movie's got everything," but in this case, I think it's literally true.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - I liked the first FF movie quite a bit more than the average nerd. It was goofy fun, the perfect way to spend a blazing hot July afternoon, and while Jessica Alba was miscast, Michael Chiklis, Ioan Gruffudd and Chris Evans were all dead-on. The trailers for this sequel make it look pretty awesome, and the original Lee/Kirby Silver Surfer/Galactus saga is justly regarded as one of the best superhero stories ever.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - This is maybe my least favorite of the Potter books so far, but it seems like the kind of story maybe more suited for the movie adaptation. The movie will necessarily edit out the book's interminable Quidditch scenes, which will help quite a lot. As usual, the guest-casting is perfect, with Imelda Staunton as Dolores Umbridge and Helena Bonham-Carter (who you just knew was going to show up in one of these movies at some point) as Bellatrix LeStrange. Should be pretty good.
Knocked Up - Seth Rogen - one of Em's Secret Boyfriends and immortal as Ken Miller on "Freaks & Geeks" - in a Judd Apatow comedy. What's not to love?
Stardust - I waxed rhapsodic about the trailer for this one a few weeks ago. Need I say more?

Ocean's 13 - If the reviews are saying it's more Ocean's 11, I'll probably want to see it. If the reviews are saying it's more Ocean's 12, I'll pass.
Ratatouille - Pixar has done very little wrong in the past, though I could never develop the interest to see Cars. I'm not terribly intrigued by this one, either, but it's written and directed by Brad Bird, who was responsible for The Incredibles and The Iron Giant, two of my favorite animated movies ever, and who was a producer for "The Simpsons" back when it was funny...so it might turn out to be worth a looksee.
Live Free or Die Hard - I know, I know. But I gotta see at least one matinee of a truly awful but potentially amusing movie every summer, and this is the most likely candidate. It can't be any worse than Lethal Weapon 4 or Alien vs. Predator, right?

Unlikely, But Still Maybe:
Evan Almighty - Steve Carrell's pretty funny, which just barely squeaks this into the "maybe" category.
The Bourne Ultimatum - This one's sort of in the Ocean's 13 category. If it leans ...Identity, yes; if it leans ...Supremacy, no.
The Simpsons Movie - I'm pretty sure it's going to suck as hard as "The Simpsons" has sucked for lo these many years now. But I can't rule it out entirely.

Not Even Clockwork Orange Style:
Transformers - I don't know why, but I actually paid to see Pearl Harbor (and that after I actually paid to see Armageddon), and I will never again pay money to see a Michael Bay movie. Especially not a Michael Bay-directed two-hour toy commercial.
Shrek the Third - I may have been the only one, but I loathed Shrek 2, and have seen nothing to make me think this will be an improvement.
Hairspray - Why in the name of Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ would anyone want to see two hours of John Travolta in drag? Who thought this was a good idea?
Surf's Up - Hey, look, more talking penguins with celebrity voices. My lack of interest is palpable.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry - Hey, what's funnier than the Fat Schlubb from "The King of Queens" and Adam Sandler making gay-panic jokes for two hours? Root canals, leprosy, dead puppies...the list could really go on for hours, couldn't it?
Rush Hour 3 - I've made it this far in life without seeing a Rush Hour movie. Why start now?