LEDs + Batteries + Circuit Board = NOOKYALUR BOMB!

So, as you may have heard, the entire city of Boston was basically shut down yesterday due to a "bomb scare." Here's the CNN story about it. Two men planted what the Assistant Attorney General, an idiot, called "bomblike devices" all around the city. The Attorney General, also an idiot, said the devices, "had a very sinister appearance. It had a battery behind it, and wires." That's right, according to the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, anything that has a battery and wires is "sinister" and more than likely a bomb.

Here's a handy tip for any of the many, many idiots in America who may be reading this: Bombs do not, generally speaking, have lights on them, especially not LEDs in the shape of a cartoon character. Just because it has a battery and wires doesn't mean it's a bomb. If real terrorists are planting real bombs, they're not studding them with blue lights and placing them in easily visible places, as the bombs have a much better chance of going off and doing the damage the terrorists would like them to do if they're not spotted beforehand. I know this is difficult for you to comprehend, idiots that you are, but just because something is electronic and you don't know for sure what it is, that doesn't automatically mean it's a bomb.

These "sinister bomb-like devices" that caused so much trouble in Boston were also planted in nine other major cities with little to no difficulty. It's a dumb guerrilla marketing campaign for a silly cartoon show. Some idiot in Boston, though, saw lights and wires and thought, naturally, "Oh, no, a bomb!" Out come the SWAT teams and the bomb squads.

Here's the best part - the MBTA is going to ask Turner Broadcasting, owner of the network that airs the cartoon, to reimburse the expenses incurred by the "bomb scare." What's that letter going to look like? "We, as a city, are in general to dumb to realize that a bunch of lights aren't a bomb, and our stupidity cost us a ton of dough. If you would, we'd appreciate if you'd compensate us for said stupidity."