So, apparently, Ted Haggard says he is "completely heterosexual" after emerging from three weeks of counseling. Good for him, I guess. Whatever it takes for him to go on thinking that the homos are evil and choosing to embark on a life of wickedness and sin, and all he was doing when he had sex with another man was "acting out." Good for him.

In a related story, a leopard at the San Diego Zoo announced today that he had changed his spots. Sammy, a three-year-old Amur Leopard said that he was, "completely striped," and any former spotted characteristics he may have exhibited were merely "acting out."