Steve from Something Awful wants you to be able to make a sweet D&D character, and so do I.
This is so much like the process I went through to make a character when I was 13, it's scary. These days, on the rare occasions I get to play nerdgames, I like to play something that's a little more subtle - thieves and clerics and suchlike. But back in the day, my friends and I all made badass fighters and spent every gaming session beating the crap out of orcs and trolls and stuff, because none of us was capable of doing anything more interesting than that.
Damn, I've started speaking nerd without noticing again. Lemme put it this way - imagine what The Lord of the Rings movies would have been like if every one of the main characters was Conan the Barbarian as played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.