Tricked into Watching Gay Sex

Remember a few years back when not just Western Civilization but in fact LIFE AS WE KNOW IT ON EARTH was nearly destroyed because millions of people saw a microsecond-long shot which contained an image of a semi-nude feminine body part during the Super Bowl halftime show?

Well, the general idiocy level of American society has, if anything, only increased since then, and this year the Super Bowl was once again broadcast on that notorious purveyor of prurient filth, CBS. In case you had forgotten, it was those perverts at the Columbia Broadcasting System who inflicted a blink-and-you-miss-it glimpse of Janet Jackson's boobie back in 2003. And yes, that same depraved network that brings us such nearly-pornographic programs as "Fat Schlubb Has a Hot Wife" and eight different iterations of the popular police procedural, "Science Cops!", was at it again.

Here's The Smoking Gun with 12 pages of utter morons complaining about Prince's vaguely phallic guitar and a dumb Snickers ad in which two men accidentally kiss (on the lips, no less; shameful!). One person reacts to the ad as though the Snickers people had aired 30 seconds of Shaving Ryan's Privates. Another, Homer Simpson style, says his son, "hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay...Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY." His son is going to become gay because he saw two men kissing briefly and accidentally on televsion, it seems. This brilliant parent will undoubtedly be taking his son for a visit to the nearest gay steel mill to straighten him back out again.