Stupid TV Fucks

I know it's probably not very hip to say so, it probably marks me as a shockingly uncultured mouth-breathing troglodyte...but I think the American version of "The Office" is better and funnier than the original British version. I know, I know. The British "Office" is just a bit too mean-spirited and a bit too dry for me to really get into. Steve Carrell is funnier than Ricky Gervaise. Rainn Wilson is funnier than Mackenzie Crook. Not hip, but true.

And now NBC is trying to turn it into a sitcom soap opera, "Friends" style. Instead of a weird, funny show about the weird, quirky people who work at Dunder-Miflin, they're turning it into "Jim loves Pam, does Pam love Jim?" crap, with sappy piano music in the promos and focusing on the kissing and crying and suchlike.

Shenanigans, I tell you.

The "will-they-or-won't-they" thing can work in a sitcom - "Cheers" is the prime example here - but it's a delicate balance, and it usually doesn't.

Speaking of the idiot box...

Can somebody explain "Deal or No Deal" to me? This is a game show for morons. They could eliminate all the vamping models and the trumped-up drama, have each moron pick a briefcase and tell them how much they win, the end. And it inflicts Howie Mandel on a world that thought it was done with him ten years ago, to boot.

"Grey's Anatomy" is running that crappy Fray song into the ground ril, ril fast, "Dawson's Creek" style. Yes, yes, whiney-voiced singer man, how to save a life, yadda yadda yadda, shuddup...

I'm really sick of NBC telling my how great "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" is going to be. Yeah, it actually looks like it could be pretty good. Aaron Sorkin is responsible for "Sports Night" and the good seasons of "The West Wing," so it's got that goin' for it. I just can't stand hearing about how great it's going to be in every frickin' promo.

Am I the only one who wants to whack that "Extreme Makeover - Home Edition" guy over the head with a two-by-four?

And finally...does it surprise you to learn that "Heroes" is the only new fall show I'm even remotely interested in watching?